Kind Speech

God has given us two ears, but one tongue, to show that we should be swift to hear, but slow to speak. God has set a double fence before the tongue; the teeth and the lips, to teach us to be cautious that we offend not with our tongue.

The same food can taste quite different, depending on how it is prepared. There are hundreds of ways to prepare potatoes, for example. Some foods I like when served one way, but I absolutely dislike them when served another way. Eating a raw vegetable or piece of fruit is a totally different experience than eating it cooked.

Different presentations affect our reactions. That’s true of food, and it’s also true of our communications and interactions with others. It’s our presentation that counts. Two people may be trying to get across the same idea, but they may do it in completely different ways. One presentation may have negative overtones, carry with it a whole range of negative emotions, and incite negative reactions, whereas the other may be just the opposite. Almost without exception, the one who does it in a loving, considerate way will have the greater success. Loving presentation makes people feel good, it makes them feel loved, it makes them feel that you like and respect and have confidence in them, and that nearly always wins their cooperation.

Actually, the words we say are not always as important as how we say them. Sometimes we do need to point out problems or say things that we know will be difficult for the other person to accept, and even be direct in doing so. But people can overlook our being frank if they see that we sincerely care about them. Even if we fail to say exactly the right thing in exactly the right way, if people feel that you care, that’s what will matter most to them and go the farthest in strengthening your relationship. Let love and trust come through.

“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.” James 3:6